Lost In So Many Personalities

“Who am I?”

There comes a time in our lives when we all get to ask ourselves this question. I longed to discover who I was because it seemed like I had many personalities. I was a certain person when I was with my friends. My parents were familiar with a different version of myself, I showed up in church with another personality, and my schoolmates knew another side of my person. Simply put, my character depended on my surroundings.

With my friends, I was always smiling and cheerful; I always said what I thought as long as it was for their good. I gave good advice, was always ready to help, and was always there when they needed me. When it came to my interactions with my parents, I was obedient, respectful, serious, kind, and hardworking. I was not perfect, so sometimes, I said and did things they didn’t necessarily approve of.

With acquaintances, however, I always tried to fit in so as not to be ridiculed or judged. This meant I said and did many things I didn’t necessarily like, so I would be accepted. For example, I would talk badly about others, drink alcohol, smoke, put on clothes that were not very comfortable and so on. In general, I lacked an identity of my own. I always listened to nasty comments from those around me about my appearance, which made me dislike myself and no longer have confidence in myself.

It is worth mentioning that I was born into a Christian family, and I was taken to church before I could even walk or talk. So God and the church have always been a part of my life. Going to church was like a routine for me, but at some point, more precisely in adolescence, it began to feel like a chore.

I went to church every Sunday, prayed every morning when I woke up and every night before bed. I even started the catechism, and I was communed and confirmed. Despite all this, I still had anger issues, lacked self-confidence, and rarely read the Bible. I thought I was a genuine Christian and doing my best at the time. It was only after moving away from my parents for my studies and meeting great people inked in Christianity that I realized my helplessness.

I decided to dedicate my life to Christ and started a new life where He was constantly present. While reading the Bible, I realized all that I was missing. Everything is written in the Word, and I discovered my true identity therein.

Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in His image, in the image of God He created Him; male and female He created them”. This beautiful verse made me understand how much God loves me, so much that He created me in His image. It also taught me that I had to honour Him by doing what He delights in and becoming like Him through how I live.

Consequently, I would also be able to help others realize what a great privilege it is to have been created and shaped by God. These words helped me understand that I was not just anyone, but I am important to God and loved as I am. He made me like this, and He loves me as I am. Now, I know who I am in Christ. I have this confidence in what the Word of God says about me, and I know God is not a man that He would lie.

Little by little, I regained my confidence, thanks to God’s Word and the help of the Holy Spirit, who guides me and gives me the best advice. Right before I gave my life to Christ, I realized all the evil I had done to Him. I felt unworthy of his love and forgiveness.

However, 2 Corinthians 5:17, which says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”, changed my view of things because it made me understand that the ‘I’ of the past had died with Jesus on the cross. I began to understand that God forgave me of every wrong I had ever done, and now, I am a new creature because I have risen with Him. I carry a new life.

Since I gave my life to Christ and accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, my life has completely changed. I now know who I am. His Word has given me a reliable compass that helps me progress despite life’s difficulties. I am happy, revived, and have a newfound confidence in God. I feel loved, and I have peace of mind. And most importantly, I got all these for free.

So what are you still waiting for?