HE LED ME ON?

“Bella! Bella!!”

Bella looked back for the second time to see who had called her name. The first time she heard her name, she had not seen anyone, and of course, she was not expecting to see anyone because she had left her glasses whilst rushing to church. However, this second time, the voice came with a face she could recognize: Kendrick, the bible study coordinator. This was a big surprise to her; the fact that he even knew her name was a greater shock.

In all her months in the church, she had only had the opportunity to talk to him once. “Maybe she forgot something in church,” Bella thought to herself as she stood patiently waiting for the brother, who she could now see very clearly as he stood beside her.

There was an awkward silence for those few minutes as Bella waited patiently for what Kendrick had to say, but he was silent as he was still trying to catch his breath. It took a lot of willpower for Bella not to laugh as she did not understand why such a short distance made him quickly run out of breath. Without thinking, she said, “I really think you should pay a lot of attention to your health. A young man like you should not get so tired so quickly.”

“Why are sounding like my mother,” Ken said with a facepalm but still smiling beneath.

“Your mum always asks you to exercise?”

“Yes! She does not fail to mention it anytime we talk,” Ken laughed. He had been able to catch his breath finally.

He stood there looking at Bella. He had seen her around the fellowship a couple of times, but today as she walked out, he realized that he had never had the opportunity to speak to her personally. In fact, he did not remember seeing anyone in the fellowship talking to her.

“Why are you walking home alone?” He asked as he knew she was waiting for why he had called her back.

“Because I do not have anyone going my route,” she answered sharply.

“Well, I do not think that’s true. We have students in every hostel on campus. Unless you’re living in a cave, of course; I understand that no one is going your route,” Ken said smugly.

Even though Bella had never really spoken to Ken, she was aware of his beautiful sense of humour. Truthfully, she particularly liked coming to bible study whenever he took it or being in his sub-group because of the way he interestingly brought light to the word. When she first came to the fellowship, she fancied him a bit but soon realized that many other girls felt the same towards him. She noticed how they all gathered towards him, desperate to hear the “word of God”. Sometimes she watched them and just laughed at how clueless the brother was.

“So madam, since I know you are not living in a cave, I believe there is another sister who stays in your hostel that you could go home with. Do you want me to help you find one?” Ken asked. He wanted to see her blend into the fellowship and use her God-given talent for the church’s edification.

“You do not have to find one please. I am not really comfortable walking and making small talk with people I do not really know. You do not have to bother, I have survived this long, I can continue.” Bella tried to sound as polite as possible, but she could not understand why he really wanted to find her a walk-home partner.

Ken took notice of the change in her voice. He knew he needed to tread gently with her if he did not want to chase her away. “Alright, I get you. But since we have successfully made an interesting small talk now, maybe I could be your official walk-home partner. We will try it for two months; if you find me annoying, then I will leave you to keep walking home alone. If you like it, we invite someone else to join us.”

“That is such a weird bargain, but okay.” Bella did not see any wrong with why she could not walk with him. From what she had seen so far, he was funny, and she still fancied him a little bit.

“What could go wrong?” she thought to herself.

*****

Bella was pacing frantically in the sitting room of the family house. Her mother had walked in and out on her twice. She knew Bella was waiting for her to ask her what was happening. After the third time, her mum succumbed and asked, “Bella, is everything okay?”

“No mum! No!!!!” she began letting tear drops down her dark porcelain cheeks.

Mama Bella had never seen her daughter so distraught. She knew how emotional her daughter was and the tendency of her daughter to overthink and overreact at the slightest provocation. But she knew that she had to remain composed to get the real truth out of her and not be swayed by her display of emotions.

She led Bella to the milk upholstery facing the window overlooking the lawn, and they sat down.

“Sweetheart, please what is wrong?” She asked.

“Mum, its Ken!”

Mama Bella was shocked at this. Ken was supposed to be the light in her daughter’s life. Ever since Bella met him six months ago, he was all that she ever spoke to her about. She had just met Ken two weeks ago, and he seemed like a pleasant young man. Knowing her daughter, she knew it was wrong to admit that Ken was a devil quickly.

“What did Ken do?”

Sitting up, Bella asked, “Mummy, the right question is what did Ken not do?”

“Okay.. sorry… What did Ken not do?

She started, gesturing with her hands*.* “Mum, I was on my own oo. I did not ask him to come ooo. He came and started being all so nice and caring and all to me. He helped me through my hardest times. Mum, you were aware now. I told you how we prayed together, studied the bible together. He helped with my school work. Mum I have grown so much in my spiritual life these past six months that Ken became my friend.”

Mama Bella was seriously trying to figure out what the problem was.

“Mummy.. Ken said we would walk home for just two months and afterwards, he would bring someone else to join us if I enjoyed it. Mummy, six months passed he did not bring anyone.”

“Is that why you are angry?”

“Of course not! I actually did not want anyone to walk home with us.” Bella had sat up from the cushion now.

“Mum.. he likes another girl and wants to pray to God to know if she is the will of God. In fact, he wants me to pray with him so that he does not make a decision based on his feelings.”

“But Bella, I asked you if you liked Ken and you said no. Then what is the problem?”

“Mama, I do not like him, but he is my friend. Why is he going on to like another girl? It is not fair! What is going to happen to our relationship?”

“Did Ken ever say he was going to be in a relationship with you? Did he lead you on in any way?”

“Not really… no… but why was he nice to me? Why did he care so much? Why was he always there? Why did he always defend me? Why was he always sensitive to my need? Mum, I know all these do not make sense, but it does not take away the fact that I am genuinely hurt.” Bella concluded. She looked so tired and heartbroken.

“But was he like this to the other girls in the fellowship?” Mama Bella asked.

“Well… yeahh! But even at that. I am more special to him. He says it all the time. He chooses me above all other girls even though I know that he also cares for them because they are children of God.”

Mama Bella was beginning to see what the problem was. Her daughter had unintentionally planted a boy in her heart and was heartbroken from a relationship and did not know when exactly her heart committed to it.

“But Bella, you knew that he was not interested in you like that. We had talked about this. You told me yourself that he was just being a friend. Why the sudden change of heart now?” Mama Bella asked.

“Mum… don’t you see? Ken is the best guy I have met all my life. I am not saying that I want to marry him, as I do not even like him like that, but I just cannot get over the fact that we won’t be friends again. I do not understand why this hurts so bad.”

“Sweetheart, I think it’s okay to be hurt because Ken might be moving on. You are human; it’s okay! But do not let this feeling overwhelm you. Even though Ken is your friend, you are his friend, don’t you think so? I have spoken to him and see how much he values you. This is a critical period in his life, and he needs his friend by his side. Yes.. this still won’t take away the hurt because it seems like you are being left behind, but sweetheart, you are not left behind in any way.

Ken, with all the help he gave you, is not the orchestrator of your life. No matter how greatly God used him, he is not the one writing the story of your life; God is the writer. So while you might still feel hurt, I need you to remind yourself that God is the one who is in charge. Ken might leave, and God would not bring another Ken; he would bring another different human who would fit into the need of your life at this point. Is that okay? Remember, Ken is not your life; God is your life!”

The words Mama Bella spoke sunk deeply into Bella’s heart and served as a balm that was healing her wounded heart. Maybe she cared more for Ken than she had admitted in the past. She realized she had truly built castles in the air concerning their relationship. It was not as if she did not know it was just a platonic relationship; she had just been unknowingly emotionally attached to it.

She had to admit that it was okay to be hurt because she was losing a close friend to who she now has a deep emotional attachment, but that was not the end of her life. God had more incredible plans for her. The beautiful things that are hers would surely come to her.

“I am not saying that Ken was right or you are wrong; I hope you know that. I personally do not agree with his unnecessary closeness to sisters in the fellowship, but you should always learn to guard your heart. Today it might be Ken; if your heart is not well guarded, it could be another guy tomorrow. I think Ken did not just know that his actions played such an effect on your heart. When you notice such things, you have the duty to guard your own heart as any guy could be nice out of the goodness of his heart,” Mama Bella concluded.

Bella knew it would be a hard journey to uproot the feelings from her heart, but she was committed to being happy for Ken regardless and guarding her heart against further disturbances.

THE END

1. Did Ken do anything wrong? Did he actually lead her on?
2. Is it possible to maintain a close relationship with someone of the opposite gender without developing such attachments? If yes, How?
3. How do you think Ken could have related to Bella without causing such emotional entanglement?