HELLO SISTER…

Dear future wife,

Wow, I am finally writing this letter after ages. I feel like introducing myself –my name, favorite color, food, and all… so you will know it is me when I finally appear in your future. But alas, we will surely know each other someday in the future, lol.😚

I have always valued marriage and relationships, so I grew up as a loving person and tried my very best never to hurt people. Well, you will step on toes one time or the other in life, but I always yearn to amend my wrong steps. I have been in good and bad relationships: friendships, partnerships, acquaintances, etc., and I have learned a lot from them. The greatest teacher I have ever had is the Holy Spirit; He is such a wonderful teacher.

My letter might be pretty long because I want to pour out my heart and be extremely sincere, but I will try to make it short and straightforward. I have viewed marriage as an opportunity of showing the highest point of love to one person on earth. It’s not about finding a person in a million, but a person in and for a lifetime. My beloved, I pray God makes you the perfect definition of a help meet for me. I pray God grants you the grace to love unconditionally and always, to love God and to love me, and as well to bear in all situations. I also pray that you grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and men, that you wax strong in the spirit, and that you will make decisions by putting God first in all situations. I pray that you uphold the God factor and are always guided with wisdom and power. I also pray you will be the best our kids and I will ever have, and in no way will you leave out the interest of God in all that you do.

Well, I know and believe you are praying for me. Pray that I grow more in wisdom and in power and to pant for God tirelessly as well. Pray that I don’t wax cold in any way and that I do not let go of the best God has for me. The growth and making process is an interesting one, believe me. I pray for the grace to stay faithful. The day I put the ring on your finger, I know there is no going back, for better and worse in all situations, and I pray for the grace never to cause you pain. I am working on myself, well, lol I always say I have changed, or I am changing, but certain things keep repeating. I will be the best for you by God’s grace. I am working on my finance which is currently the biggest wahala. I tend to be a Father Christmas most times (I believe this is a good thing, but I am learning to save).

I am taking care of myself –intellectually learning a lot and building myself spiritually and physically. I am trying different cuisines so I can spoil you with food at times. I am going through a thorough process spiritually to be a good spiritual dad to my kids and learning to be a gentleman for you. I am learning a lot about making time for the ones I love and all. I am taking care of my body, skin, and diet. I am trying my best on my stomach exercise, lol. I am learning other stuff too, like patience, in a nice, hard way. I have learnt to trust in God no matter what. I have learned, and I am still learning how to love like Christ loved the church. To love without reason; doing stuff not for personal benefit but out of love for God and humanity. You see the point in the bible, which says, “whilst we were still sinners, Christ loved and died for us”, that love is something I have learned and still learning. I’m learning to love even when someone has not become part of your fold.

I want to be the best. I want to leave a mark every day in your life, which will cause you never to regret having me as a husband and always thank God for my life each day. Marriage is beautiful, yeah, very beautiful, and I want us to fulfill God’s purpose for us in marriage rightly. I want you to love me always and not be shy of me. I know I am to defend you, but I want you to always stand for me too, and cover me up if you can. Never be shy to show me public affection. I will treat you as my queen, my princess, my first daughter, my best friend, my mum, my dad lol, my teddy bear, my angel, and the precious mineral you are to me. All these and more are what you are to me. I just want you to love me and give me your attention, love, and care. I love to be spoilt too, you know😁. Surprise me at times, too, though, lol, but most importantly, I need your time and attention, that part of your life.

Let me tell you a story… Oh, I forgot you know almost all my stories. When I was a school prefect, I was acquainted with this lady (she was called ‘Her Excellency’ because she was the senior prefect for a neighboring girl’s school). We visited each other at times. One day, while I was at home, I was told she came looking for me on Valentine’s day. I quickly returned to school the next day, only to meet different bars and kinds of chocolates. I was so happy. When I met her the next day, I thanked her and decided to take her out. I did not have much money on me, just 15 cedis. I even took that money from my brother, so it was not mine. She was the head girl, so her entourage was quite large. We went for a stroll, and I asked her if I could buy her food to take to school. The food cost 10 cedis. 

So, we went to the restaurant, and I ordered for her. Just then, one of her school daughters who happened to be with us said she wanted one too. my face was already turning red… I had the money for one only. I almost gave myself away, then the other daughter said she also wanted another, omo, that was three orders. Her excellency looked at me, then she looked at the waiter and asked her to separate the first order from the second, and she paid for the ones for the girls. My red face became normal, and I asked the lady, “Do you want anything again…?” (lol, my face returned to normal, and I was still asking if she wanted anything else). She said no, just water, but I got her a drink, I think out of my last 5 cedis. I learned not to show off after that day. I told the head girl, and we all laughed over it. She is a nice person, though. I was like a hot cake for most ladies in my school and other neighboring schools… (I did not know I was a fresh boy like that back then o). This other assistant girl’s prefect wrote me a letter to which I nearly fell. She called herself the “boss chick” and I “the boss” (people have punch lines o !).

I thank God for my mum’s life, who tirelessly prayed for us. A wall separated our rooms, so in my room, I could hear her praying at night, going around the house, going outside the house just praying and praying. She is a teacher of the word and introduced me to Christ very early, and she played vital roles in my spiritual growth. She didn’t personally teach me a lot, but she guided me and took me to people who taught me essential things based on the timing in my life. She explained things to me when I did not understand, and I shared my revelations with her.

On the other hand, my dad called me Pastor lol, very funny, though. The way I spoke to my parents made others think I was rude, but that is how they taught me to interact with them. I spoke to them as my friend, especially my dad, but with my mum, it was worse. He was so cool with me that I remember having a relationship and marriage talk with him, where he told me how he met my mum, certain things they did, and all. (Love is sweet oo). Well, I love my family cause we do not keep secrets from each other. I tell them everything, and they tell me everything and advise me on the paths to follow. They gave me the chance to explore and know how life is, but they guided me keenly. I sometimes remember when they argued, but my dad has never laid a finger on my mum. When they do argue well, it is not an argument – it is my mum telling my dad something, and he not heeding to. My dad used to go out and spend evenings with his friends, mostly playing draft. He does not stay at home mostly, always going out. My mum will have to wait till about 8 pm before spending time with her husband – this is mostly the issue. The main thing was taking alcohol; my mum did not want my dad taking alcohol, but my dad went there. That was my mum’s number one headache. She told us, her children never to taste it, because in our family, once you take it, that is all, your life goes down the drain. 

My mum was submissive, and my dad was very loving and always apologized even if he was not at fault. My dad used to be a regular churchgoer, he even had a pastoral course and was head of the financial department of a church, but I do not know what happened along the way. He still loved God and always prayed but was not consistent in going to church. When it came to giving things out, he was a real father Christmas, so was my mum, but she saved the most. I love my family, but I do not want it to be a model cause my mum was mostly worried about my dad. I do not want to give my wife a headache, a cause to worry about, or cause her pain. I want a family where we have a close relationship with our children. Where we train them in the word, the way of the Lord, have devotions, and where we can express ourselves openly.

I remember the family evening meetings we mostly had where we talked about life and past events. I learned a lot from their experiences. I want a family where we always show love and affection. I want a family where our children will not be stressed, their financial aspect planned for them and all. I know we will be a family and have a home opened to all, different children, orphans, our kids, even to the needy and poor. I want a family where we will not discriminate or have that mass gap between the rich and poor, but we will relate well with them. Family outings and spending time together will be something I will make time for by God’s grace. My mum always had to call my dad and ask, “Where are you? Will you not come home?” I do not want to be receiving such calls from you.

I need you to be a strong woman, a woman who will stand firm and not give up. I promise to make you proud by God’s grace. I need you to take care of me; despite giving me attention and time, I need you to know the times you will have to sack me and push me to do certain things. I can become lazy at times. I will have only God and you, and I need you to trust me. I will trust you too, but never hurt me or break my heart; I have a very fragile one. I believe and trust easily, so do not lie to me when I ask about an issue and always come openly. 

I am trusting God for a family where the two are one, and each person is seen as the other, and where each one takes up their respective role in Christ. I believe God for a great, unbreakable family that stays together in all situations. A family where no one will despise the other, a family opened to people based on God’s will and principles. A family where we will fulfill God’s purpose concerning us and rightly define God’s purpose for marriage. A blessed family that will be a blessing to others and a model to look at. A family where we will grow old together and keep impacting and bearing fruits. A family with so much joy and peace. A family where we strive together towards perfection but can tolerate excellency along the way.

I love you so much, dear, and I cannot wait to put the ring on your finger and give you my first ever kiss on the lips. Till we meet, I pray God protects you and keeps you for me. Take care, my love.

Love you,
Your future spouse.