“NOT” BROKEN
Sofia knew that it wasn’t wise to run after her. The mixed hostel she lived in was such a large building with so many hidden corners that she might not have been able to find Bola even if she had tried. She was grateful that she had collected her number before asking to pray with her.
She wondered about the kind of pain that Bola would have gone through as a child that made her react that way and why she had never come across her during her two-month stay in the hostel. She also wondered if Bola was the reason God had asked her to choose that hostel. Sofia began to think about the prayer she had made with Bola. She then asked herself if she believed it herself or was reciting what she thought was the best thing to be said at that particular time.
“Did God really love her from the beginning, or it was just religious hypnosis to keep her enduring the pain of her life?” Sofia thought to herself.
She then realized that she did not profoundly believe the words she tried using to encourage someone else. And even though she felt she was not broken, she was. This realization caused her to be moved into tears.
*****
BROKEN
There was something about Sofia that Bola liked. Even though she stormed out of her house in anger, she had waited for Sofia to call or message her. She had also secretly hoped to run across her in the hallways, but it had been ten days, and none had happened. She also remembered Sofia’s prayer, saying that God loves her. Bola regretted opening up to a stranger. “She was just like the rest of them who claimed that they loved her only in words but not in action. Ben was the only one who had words and actions. But maybe something is wrong with her,” Bola thought to herself. “Maybe she is angry with me. Maybe I should go to her room.” Bola was pacing her room.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Fear trickled down Bola’s spine. That knock was more than familiar – it was the ‘love’ of her life. She quickly put on a smile since he hated to see her frown.
“I am coming,” Bola called out. She moved swiftly towards the door and opened the door for Ben.
“Why did it take you forever to open up?” Ben asked as he moved graciously and sat on the bed. Bola admired him as she stood at the door. He was indeed a fine man. Since he lost his father, he lost that spark that always reflected in his eyes. It was as if his joy was buried with his father. That is why she still stayed, no matter how badly he treated her. She was waiting for that pleasant young man that she met at first to come back. She was only bothered by how much longer it would take. It was already six months since his father’s passing, and he did not seem to be getting any better.
“Why are you standing at the door looking at me? Is everything okay with you?” Ben asked.
“Yes, Yes,” Bola replied, coming out of her thoughts.
*****
“NOT” BROKEN
Sofia lay on the bed in tears. It had dawned on her that her knowledge and the supposed experience of God’s love was shallow. It was not something she sincerely believed at heart. It had been ten days since that conversation with Bola, and even though she knew she had to call Bola and talk to her, she could not bring herself to preach the love of God if she did not fully believe it herself.
Over the past ten days, she realized that she secretly blamed God for putting her in such an evil family, for the inactions of her father, the actions of her brother, and the indifference of her mother. She blamed God for not giving her a better life. These discoveries came as a shock to her. She was beginning to feel very bad about it and run from God, but there was something that the Holy Spirit did – He drew her closer.
Sofia read through the scriptures on the love and supremacy of God. She began to understand that every hardship she had gone through in life was something that God would use to establish her in her divine purpose. The story of the life of Joseph opened up in a different way to her. It was easy for Joseph to conclude that God did not love him. But Joseph did not think in that direction. Instead, he was fully confident that God was the one directing his life, so whether good or bad, he was sure to arrive at God’s destination for his life. She had spent the past ten days in remorse. She also felt the love of God in a way that was too real for her to deny.
She knew she had to call Bola. Even though Bola’s case was a crucial one, Sofia knew she could not just rush into it unless God had worked upon her first. Sofia picked up the phone she had dumped for the past ten days, ignored the numerous missed calls, and decided to call Bola.
*****
BROKEN
Bola heard her phone ring from where she was sitting beside Ben. She looked beyond Ben, who was just beside the phone, and saw that it was an unknown number. “Maybe it was Sofia,” she thought to herself. She moved quickly to pick it up, forgetting that Ben had a problem with her talking to people, not to speak of strangers. Before she could reach the phone, Ben picked it up.
“Who is this calling you?” Ben asked inquisitively.
“As you can see, I don’t know. Can you give me my phone?” Bola replied to him.
“Oh, now you have started giving your number out to strangers, and you do not save their numbers, so I don’t find out,” Ben said. He was beginning to get a bit angry, so Bola knew that it was wise for her to tread carefully.
“No, Ben. I don’t know who that is. It could be one of these spam calls,” she said, trying not to get him upset any more than this.
“Then why are you so expectant to pick it up. You seem so excited about a supposed spam call. What are you not telling me?” Ben asked.
“It is nothing, Ben,” She said, trying to convince him. The phone that had stopped ringing started to ring again.
“Wow! These spam people must seem to love you today,” Ben said sarcastically. “Can I pick it up and talk to your spam people?” Ben asked, feigning politeness.
Bola did not know precisely how to reply. If she said ‘NO,’ he would think she was hiding something from him and if she said ‘YES,’ she was scared Sofia might realize that it was Ben and say some not-so-nice things to him. She was in an actual fix. She just wished that Sofia would stop calling. “But how sure was she it was Sofia?” she asked herself.
“Bola, you are taking so much time to reply to this one question. Your spam caller is calling again for the third time. Is this how they work now? That is unprofessional; the rule of the game is, ‘ONE SPAM CALL A DAY,’ but you, my dear, get three going to four,” Ben said, smirking. It was not a nice one.
Bola did not even know if Ben was telling the truth or if he was trying to get her tensed. She found herself praying silently that Ben wouldn’t hurt her.
“Bola, answer me truthfully; who is this calling you?” Ben asked, standing up furiously.
She was going to get the beating of her life. Tears started to stream down her face as she wondered how bad her life had gotten. She was being threatened by a boy just because an unknown number was calling her. She recalled Sofia’s words, “Even if Ben was there initially, what he is doing now is not acceptable. It nullifies all the supposed love that he showed you.” Some form of strength came upon her, and she stood to face Ben.
“Ben, give me my phone,” Bola said with all the courage that she could muster.
“You must be stupid for saying that, Bola,” Ben said as he smacked her with his left hand, and she fell back hard to the bed.
Bola blacked out with one thought: “Does God really love me?”