I don’t think I was ghosted, but I know that my heart was broken. I had a boyfriend; we spent three years together. While we were together, he was seriously sick for six months – so sick that I thought he was going to die. But I was there for him as his girlfriend, best friend, and sister, to the point that his parents considered me as their daughter. It was naturally difficult to stay with someone with the type of illness that the had, but I stood faithfully with him.
Unfortunately, it was during his illness that I discovered that he had another girlfriend. The girl had left him because he was sick. But because of his condition, I thought he would need psychological support, so I decided I would stay with him until recovery. I told him that after he was better, we would not be together anymore. He begged and pleaded that we had spent three years together and it was a long time. He further argued that there was still love, attention, affection and all that for me.
After he recovered, the girl who had dumped him found out he got better and she started writing to him again. He told the other girl that the relationship that they had was a mistake since he had a girlfriend he was in love with. The girl, however, started threatening him. I also don’t know from where she got my phone number; she called and insulted me.
In all these, they continued to talk to each other without my knowledge. She continued to threaten my boyfriend, and since he had just spent six months with a severe illness, he had become almost like a child. He was constantly afraid of everything, suspicious, and terrified of the girl. I plainly told him, if he hadn’t continued talking with her initially, she would never dare threaten him.
This other girl then asked him to choose whether he wanted to stay with me or her. He refused to make her understand, “You had let me down, but she was always there for me. I owe her all my life, you can leave me.” Despite all this from my boyfriend to her, the girl wrote to me again and insulted me. With wisdom, which I believe came from God, I replied to her, “Ok, thank you”.
After this answer, I think she spent a week crying and afterwards, she wrote to me and told me that I am a very good person, and now she sees why the boy loves me and that I am wise and then asked for my forgiveness. I told her not to worry and that I already forgave her.
However, I got the shock of my life that same day. My boyfriend wrote to me and told me that in the 3 years that we had spent together, we weren’t in a relationship, that there was never anything between us, and we must stop talking to each other.
I replied to him, “I don’t understand.”
He told me he was really sorry, he would always be there for me but we couldn’t be together, and he was not with the girl either.
*****
One year already passed and till today I don’t understand what happened. I gave up trying; I moved on. But with time, I realised that he was with the girl. His parents always told me that their son is going to marry me, in spite of everything. But now I don’t want it and I told them to stop telling me that. It hurt me a lot, but now it’s OK. Sometimes he writes or calls me when he wants to talk to someone but I had to stop it.
I don’t understand what happened, and I don’t want to understand either. But one thing is for sure, I’m fine now.
From this experience, ABBA’s DWELLING thinks that it is necessary to note that:
- When deciding on who to start or build a relationship with, it is necessary that you take into serious consideration your potential partner’s relationship with God. A man/woman who does not have the fear of God is just a ticking bomb. He/she is bound to break your heart.
- Hurt is sometimes experienced in every relationship because we are humans and have flaws. Albeit, it’s necessary to heal, and Jesus— our Lover is the Master at healing broken hearts. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
- God sometimes allows different types of painful experiences in the lives of His children because of the future He has seen and has planned for them. But we should always remember that “… in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
- And remember God always gives bouquets of roses for ashes. “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair” Isaiah 61:3. God is able to turn your situation around and give you reasons to smile again.
- As Christians, we do not encourage “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationships. There is only COURTSHIP with the intention of marriage after the will of God has been discerned and with proper pastoral/discipleship guidance. 1 John 2:15-17.